I feel like mental health is a “taboo” topic. But it shouldn’t be. It should be something that is talked about so people who suffer with their mental health don’t feel so alone.
That’s how I felt for a long time…alone. Like no one had ever felt the same way I felt.
Some days, my heart races so fast I feel like I can’t breath. Other days I have this awful pit in my stomach that makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out. I have this sense of impending doom – like the world is out to get me. Sometimes I just cry and I can’t stop. When I have to make a decision I’m terrified I’ll make the wrong one or disappoint people.
My anxiety and depression makes me feel powerless, weak, and alone.
Anxiety steals so many moments of joy. It took me a long time to get help. It took a lot of courage to look for a therapist. I had such a negative look on seeing a therapist and I pushed it off for a long time. I’ve been on COUNTLESS meds. It took a long time to find the meds that worked for my brain chemistry. It was a long, hard, and painful process. And throughout it all, I felt alone. Like I was the only human in their early twenties feeling this way, seeing a therapist, and taking depression meds.
Now, in my late twenties, I finally feel okay.
- Are all my days great? NO.
- Do I still carry Xanax in my purse in case I have a panic attack? YES.
- Am I on meds? LORD YES! I couldn’t function without them (literally..I’ve tried…) and that’s OKAY.
I’m sharing my mental health story with you all because I believe our story is the most powerful tool we have to change the world.
I’m very open about my mental health because I don’t want anyone to feel like I felt. If you’re experiencing something similar, my heart goes out to you. You are not alone. The sun will come back out. You are brave and so much stronger than you realize. It will get better.
